When I think of flowers, I think of back in the day when flowers were an integral part of wooing a woman, along with chivalry. What do you all think of chivalry?
I personally love it - I feel treasured and honored when my husband opens doors for me, and pulls out my chair when I go to sit down at the table.
In this day and age, I know that a lot of women dislike men opening doors for them, and doing all those things that made women swoon in the 1950's. Some women see it as men thinking they are incapable, or weak - but to me it's an act of service and honor. I know that when Brian does those things for me it isn't a rehearsed gesture. It's a natural reaction to how he feels about me. He respects me and wants to do things for me, and one of the ways he shows that to me is by being 'chivalrous'. A lot of guys have it all wrong. They feel like they have to do all those stereotypical things to woo a woman when they first start dating, and then when they get married - they drop the act and the woman wonders what happened. I think that true chivalry is when it's an extension of the man's feelings towards the woman he loves, not when it's something he feels he needs to do to create a good impression.
However, I do think that women can also do these kinds of things for men. I respect Brian, and have no problem doing any of those things for him either. If I see a guy walking down the street carrying a lot of heavy items, I'll offer to help him - just because I am a woman doesn't mean that I can't do that. And if I am leaving a store and there's a guy behind me, I will hold the door open for him. I think there needs to be a balance in this, there shouldn't be one gender getting more respect than the other. I think this world could use a little chivalry, don't you?
33 comments:
i'm with you on receiving flowers...especially when it's just for no reason. getting flowers on a random monday? nothing better!
Perfectly said. I couldn't agree more.
I do things for my husband because he deserves it. He works hard, he takes care of me and our kids, and he's my Favorite. Of course I go out of my way for him.
And he does the same for me, which makes me want to do even more.
It's funny how that works.
I enjoy it when men open the door for me, but can't remember the last time someone pulled my chair out for me when I went to sit down. Goodness...
But I kinda love opening the door for older men and women. I think they are shocked by it. It comes from my old job as a restaurant hostess. It was my JOB to open doors for the customers. So Men would always be like, "Go on" and try to get me to go in the door first. I'd reply, "No, Sir, please come on in!" And as they pass, I'd curtsy. That REALLY threw them off. It was one of the small ways I amused myself. I will still hold the door open for men, and curtsy as they pass and thank me. Its fun. :-)
I love getting flowers for no reason! it doesn't happen often, but when it does, it just feels so special that I glow from the inside out.
I think chivalry is important... my husband and I both do little things for each other and it's a way to show we care, to show we're thinking of each other. I also notice a lot of men who do acts of chivalry day to day... waiting for a lady to step onto the elevator first, offering a seat on the train before taking it, holding the door. I think it's important... it's courteous and kindness. And this world could use more kindness.
I agree, Kristin. Basically, chivalry is a way of being kind by putting someone else before ourselves. I love it when I see young guys, teens, being "chivalrous" to strangers, when it's something they just do naturally, not to impress anyone. It's a rare find in teenagers these days.
We could use a bit more of chivalry and woo-ing in this day and age...and I do love receiving surprise flowers too. Hmm...haven't received and 'I'm Sorry' flower yet...
I love that my husband still opens doors for me and pumps the gas every time, even if I'm driving. Wait, no he always drives too! I agree that these things are a reflection on how Jon feels towards me, it's not because I can't carry something heavy, he just wants to say he'd rather do it for me. Just like when I cook him a good meal...it's not that I do it because he can't, I do it because I love him and I love doing it for him.
my boyfriend has never given me flowers as an apology only for special occasions and mostly just because!
i had a 10th grade history teacher that spent 4 days out of the year teaching about Chivalry. Then he would make both boys and girls practice in class. i believe he tried to make it into a history lesson... but i just thought he was doing his part in making the world a little more kind.
and yes, the world does need all the kindness it can get.
I love it....when my husband does something special for me out of the blue...it makes me feel so good...I also like to do the same for him from time to time!!
Chivalry must live!!!
m:)
I think, once again, we are on the same page! I agree... I really don't like getting flowers for an occasion (like Valentine's). It's just so expected and not really as thoughtful as the random Tuesday night when he brings home a bouquet. I think it's really the thought that counts in most things and it's just nice to know he thinks of me on days when I don't expect it.
I completely agree! I love the idea of chivalry, but also that it can go both ways. I do things like that for my fiancé, too, because I think it shows him I care and think about him. And I love when he does it for me, too. (And flowers are ALWAYS appreciated!)
i love chivalry too. my husband has always opened the door for me.
just found your blog! enjoying it.
-angela
I love chivalry! I'm always pleasantly surprised when a guy opens a door or pulls out my chair - that's sad that I'm surprised! I wish more guys did that. And it definitely goes both ways!
Oh, I so agree! I love the idea of being chivalrous (is that a word?) as a women as well.
Oh, oH, I do beLieVe!
I also use it and it
Is so nice when you
get that pleasant
smile from a complete
Stranger! Maybe they
PaSs iT On.
This is the time
Of year when my
Hubby brings home
FreSh WiLd LiLaCs
& for no apparent reason!
I LoVe LiLaCs.
I completely agree - nicely put.
Right on! And on the last paragraph...me too! :D
It's a two way street
I love it! Hold the door for me, pull out my chair, bring me flowers, and pay for my dinner ANYDAY!
I just wanted to tell you that I love your blog. It is sooo pretty!
I agree 100% with you. This world could use more chivalry. It never hurt anyone :)
i love your blog and this post. i completely agree with you on everything... when my boyfriend offers to help me carry my thngs or open doors or send me flowers every once and a while i know its genuine. genuine chivalry would turn this world around!
Wow. What a lovely place you have created here!
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
i'm all for chivalry-- and i think you are right that women can and should help men out too! there is something very special about people helping each other out with a thoughtful gesture or kind word.
and flowers, definitely. the boy surprised me with a small spring bouquet when i got home from a conference in dc yesterday! so simple but so sweet!
I believe...it's well & ALIVE!
Thanks dear, for your kind words...touched & so honored*
~Blessings as always XO!
I am so glad to see so many women agree that chivalry should not be dead. I remember my youth pastor always tried to teach this to us. Once at camp the boys had won a contest by having the cleanest cabin and therefore got to get in line first to eat. They went up and went through the line and then brough their full plates to a girl in our youth group. It was so nice and all the other groups saw it as well. If Daniel becomes a youth pastor I think this is a great lesson to teach young teens about being kind in a world of "me first".
My DH, Kevin and I have been married for 13 years and we have always appreciated each other. We show this by doing things for one another because we don't take a single minute w'each other for granted. We joke w'each other and sometimes call this "affection"..."priming the pump"...it sounds vulgar as I'm describing it...but it's not and we humoursly say to one another...so you're priming the pump honey...lol...guess you have to be there to get it...but my kids say that we have a marriage they hope to have one day so I'm glad they've been able to see how wonderful marriage can be. Have a great day, Roberta
http://con-tain-it.typepad.com
I love the idea of chivalry. Great post!
Definitely! I have a lovely bunch of 7th graders who I'm always trying to convince that chivalry, along with lady-likeness, is never dead!
i flip-flop on chivalry...but there's something noble and sweet about men who use/have it. as for the men who treat us like we're in the 17th century, forget it!
xox
agree with your view on chivalry, it;s nice when it happens but I don't expect it from people & also treat people the way i want to be treated, i.e. holding the door etc.
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Random flowers always make me smile. I love you knight illustration. Wonderful!
well said dionne. i agree with this post!
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